T.H.I.N.K. Before You Speak: Case Studies in Mindful Speech

For each of the following situations, decide whether the person followed these guidelines for mindful speech:

Is what I want to say True?
Is what I want to say Helpful?
Am I the best one to say it?
Is it necessary to say it Now?
Is it Kind to this person and others? 

[THINK definition from Mindfulness for Teen Anxiety by Dr. Christopher Willard] 

Photo by imagerymagestic for FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Mark √ for yes, X for no, or ? if you’re not sure.  There could be more than one 'correct' answer.  The purpose of this activity isn't to get a particular score but to reflect on the situations and whether you've witnessed or experienced something similar in your own life.

1. Cheryl got a really unflattering haircut.  I told her, “Your hair looks great!”

Did I T.H.I.N.K. before I spoke?  

____T____H____I____N____K

2. As soon as Cheryl left the room, I said to my friends, “Cheryl’s hair looks terrible, doesn’t it?"

Did I T.H.I.N.K. before I spoke?  

____T____H____I____N____K

3. My brother did something that made me very angry.  I told him, "It's really hard for me to forgive you.  I need some time alone before we talk about this."

Did I T.H.I.N.K. before I spoke?  

____T____H____I____N____K


4. I suspect my sister might be pregnant.  Without asking her, I mention my suspicions to our parents.

Did I T.H.I.N.K. before I spoke?  

____T____H____I____N____K

5. I think my sister might be pregnant.  I ask her if it’s true, and if there’s any way I can help her.

Did I T.H.I.N.K. before I spoke?  

____T____H____I____N____K

6. My name is Kanye.  I was upset when Taylor won an award because I thought my friend Beyoncé should have won.  I interrupted Taylor’s speech and told everyone Beyoncé’s video was better.

Did I T.H.I.N.K. before I spoke?  

____T____H____I____N____K

7. My name is Beyoncé.  When I won an award later that night, I invited Taylor back onstage to finish her speech.

Did I T.H.I.N.K. before I spoke?  

____T____H____I____N____K

8. Kanye asked me, “Do you think I’m a jerk?”  I told him “Yeah, but I like your music.”

Did I T.H.I.N.K. before I spoke?  

____T____H____I____N____K

9. My name is Justin Bieber.  After I visited Anne Frank’s house, I wrote this in the guestbook:  

"Truly inspiring to be able to come here. Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a belieber."   

(Fans of Justin Bieber's music call themselves "beliebers.")

 Did I T.H.I.N.K. before I spoke?  

____T____H____I____N____K

10.  After Justin Bieber got a lot of criticism for his comment, I posted this at the Anne Frank Facebook page: 

"Despite everything, I believe people are really good at heart."

I think before everyone goes bashing Justin Bieber we should take a moment to think about these words and why Anne said them.

(This is a real comment that was posted at the site.)

Did I T.H.I.N.K. before I spoke?  

____T____H____I____N____K

Questions for further reflection and discussion:

• In the above situations, how could “I” have chosen to respond differently, and what impact would that have had on other people?
• Did any of the situations remind you of something from your own life?  What happened, and did you and the other people involved T.H.I.N.K. before you spoke?
• Have you ever said something that was true but unkind or kind but untrue?
• Is it possible to say something kind but unhelpful?  

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related posts:

Changing the Script: A Mindful Way to Handle Annoyance

A Few Words About Mindful Speech

Power Struggles: Case Studies in Mindful Communication

T.H.I.N.K. Before You Speak 2