Sunday, January 3, 2016

T.H.I.N.K. Before You Speak 2: Case Studies in Mindful Speech

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I've gotten a lot of positive feedback on T.H.I.N.K. Before You Speak, especially from people who work with adolescents... so here are ten more situations related to mindful speech (or complete lack thereof).


For each of the following situations, decide whether the person followed these guidelines for mindful speech:
Is what I want to say True?
Is what I want to say Helpful?
Am I the best one to say it?
Is it necessary to say it Now?
Is it Kind to this person and others?
 
[THINK definition from Mindfulness for Teen Anxiety by Dr. Christopher Willard] 


Mark √ for yes, X for no, or ? if you’re not sure.  There could be more than one 'correct' answer.  The purpose of this activity is to reflect on the situations and whether you've witnessed or experienced something similar in your own life.


1. I did really well on an exam.  I said to my friends, “I got the top score.  What did you get?”

Did I T.H.I.N.K. before I spoke?  

____T____H____I____N____K


2. One of my friends was bragging about getting a good score on a test, and I didn't want to tell him I failed.  I said, "Congratulations!" then started talking about something else.

Did I T.H.I.N.K. before I spoke?  

____T____H____I____N____K


3. People kept telling me about this strange color Mrs. Jenkins dyed her hair.  When I saw her, I didn't think it looked that bad, so I told her, “Your hair’s not as weird as everyone says it is.”

Did I T.H.I.N.K. before I spoke?  

____T____H____I____N____K


4. A woman with a big belly was about to enter the building.  I told my friend, “We need to go open the door for that lady.  She’s pregnant.”

Did I T.H.I.N.K. before I spoke?  

____T____H____I____N____K


5. A boy told his friend to hold the door open for me because I’m pregnant.  I said, “Hey, I’m not pregnant!  You sayin’ I’m fat?”

Did I T.H.I.N.K. before I spoke?  

____T____H____I____N____K


6. A boy told his friend to hold the door open for me because I’m pregnant.  I said, “Thank you for holding the door, but I’m actually not pregnant.”

Did I T.H.I.N.K. before I spoke?  

____T____H____I____N____K


7. I saw a couple of kids cheating on a test.  I went up to the teacher after class and told him what I’d seen.

Did I T.H.I.N.K. before I spoke?  

____T____H____I____N____K


8. I saw a girl looking at her phone during a test.  I went up to the teacher after class and told him she was cheating.

Did I T.H.I.N.K. before I spoke?  

____T____H____I____N____K


9. I saw Maria’s boyfriend leaving the movie theater with another girl.  I called Maria and said her boyfriend was cheating on her.

Did I T.H.I.N.K. before I spoke?  

____T____H____I____N____K


10. I saw Maria’s boyfriend leaving the movie theater with another girl.  I went up to them and said hi, and asked “Where’s Maria tonight?”

Did I T.H.I.N.K. before I spoke?  

____T____H____I____N____K



Questions for Further Reflection and Discussion

1. Has someone ever asked you a question that you really didn't want to answer?  How did you respond?  

2. Believe it or not, someone really told one of the teachers at my school, “Your hair’s not as weird as everyone says it is.”  Have you ever gotten (or given) a “compliment” that really wasn’t a compliment?  How did you feel afterwards? 

3. Situation #5 also really happened at my school.  Did you ever do something to be helpful that turned out badly?  What happened?  What do you wish had happened?

4. Have you ever caught someone cheating (either on a test or on a boyfriend/girlfriend)?   Did you say anything?  Why or why not?

5. Have you ever gotten in trouble because someone caught you cheating (or thought you were cheating)?  What happened?  What do you wish had happened?

6. In what other situations have you seen someone T.H.I.N.K. (or not) before speaking?  What happened?


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related posts:

How Mindful am I? (quiz)

Power Struggles: Case Studies in Mindful Communication

The Mindful Teen (recommended book)


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